OSS + ELC EU 2026

One morning, CI across ~1,800 repos ground to a near-total halt. HTTP 401 from github.com, everywhere. Deterministic, not flaky. Valid tokens, healthy rate limits. GitHub support said "anti-abuse." We said "which abuse?"

Twenty days and 17,863,537 log records later, we'd gone deeper into git's open source plumbing than we ever intended: how git negotiates HTTP auth, what it leaks in user-agents, which config knobs actually matter under load, and how its defaults — sensible on a laptop — behave pathologically behind Kubernetes NAT at 50,000 CI runs a day.

This talk is a forensic walkthrough of git's HTTP transport, told through an outage: the red herrings, the tcpdumps, the fixes that didn't work, the fix that did. You'll leave knowing what git clone really does when you're not looking — and how to configure it so it never makes you look guilty.

Bring popcorn.